Please understand I am opening myself up in these writing assignments and trying to be as truthful as I can with myself in the hopes that not only will I learn something about myself; but that in sharing with you, others will realize the strength we gain by helping and praying for each other.
Writing Exercises
I call this the “unfolding” exercise. First, you write a paragraph about anything that’s on your mind.
Just write, don’t think too much.
Thank God last night is
over but how to face the day and carry on is the next hurdle I need to
face. I know a lot of 20+ children are
living at home with their parents due to economics but somehow it just seems to
me these are the people not wanting to work to get what they want. Please understand I am only speaking from
experience of two sons. One 40+ now who
when he lived at home quit school at 16 but did work; at least until his
grandmother said he could live with her and not work. She has passed on, left him nothing to live on;
he lives with his cousin now and still doesn't work. 20+ son is following in his footsteps
somewhat. He did graduate from High
school, unlike his brother, he did go to college but quit because he didn't like the teachers and wasn't showing up for classes. Was working when in high school and making
good money but hours are getting cut to very few due to not getting there on
time, calling in with excuses for not being able to get there. What do they have in common?
Now, read that paragraph
and identify the one sentence that speaks to you most. Write that sentence at
the top of a fresh page—and then write a paragraph from that sentence. You’re
using the one sentence as sort of a root for a new paragraph.
Thank God last night is
over but how to face the day and carry on is the next hurdle I need to
face. Lord I flash back to the Prodigal
Son parable and how you are calling us to imitate you in this story when it
comes to our children. How hard it must
have been (and still is) for you to have your children turn their face from you
and live according to their rules instead of yours. Thank you for the mercy you showed me when I
did that. Help me now as I go through
what you must have gone through as my sons choose to live their own rules of
morality instead of mine; which I hoped where a reflection of yours. I want so badly to walk away. NO, to have them walk away. I have
worked hard for what I have, I have struggled to pay my bills, have done
without when I didn't have the money and have not had peace in my house with my
husband due to our sons.
Do the same thing one more
time: from this new paragraph, identify one sentence that speaks most
powerfully, and use it to generate a new paragraph. What often happens in this
exercise is that you get to deeper levels; you unfold the original thought. You
can unpack a memory this way.
I have worked hard for what
I have, I have struggled to pay my bills, have done without when I didn't have
the money and have not had peace in my house with my husband due to our
sons. When is enough, enough? When do I get to say I cannot do this anymore
without feeling guilty? Who has to hit
bottom first, me or them? Lord, your
image of the Prodigal Son’s Father is a hard lesson to live up to. At least in this story the son went out into
the world to live his sinful life while the father sat home patiently and
prayerfully waiting for the son to come to his senses. What would you have done if he had said “hey
old man /old lady you owe me, give me my inheritance now” and lived that
immoral life right there on your land. Is
it better to be out of sight out of mind?
Or to think at least I know where he is?
Do I fear him living here, doing the things he is doing, expecting me to
continue spending my money to take care of him?
Why am I worried what this will cost me?
This is his life and his messes. Why
does it seem like such a personal failure?
I know I made mistakes, looking at his choices now I feel as if I made
many more than what I realize. But when
does he say this is my life and my choices and my responsibility and not my
parents?
Finish these sentences:
·
“The thing I wish I could
forget is . . . and this is why.”
The thing I wish I could
forget is my anger and disappointment for the way my sons choose to live their
lives. I would like to be able to see
them without them wanting something from me.
To carry on a conversation about the everyday things without a tone of
reprimand in my voice would be a good start.
·
“The parts of life hardest
for me to remember are . . . and I think this is why.”
The parts of life hardest
for me to remember are when my husband and I loved each other. I am not saying we don’t love each other because
we do and the 30 years we have spent going through everything together proves
that. It is just I miss the times when
there were not constant battles over the boys or what the money was being spent
on because of the boys. I miss doing
enjoyable things together, just him and I.
We don’t have anything fun in common any more.
·
“The memories I wish most
people would hold on to are . . . and this is why I think that is so
important.”
The memories I try to hold
on to are of the love you feel for your child as you hold them in your arms
dreaming of all God has in store for their life. We do not know the whys or how comes of this
moment in our lives or how God is using it for a time in the future. We just have to hold on to the fact that
children are a gift from God and he is using everything that is going on in
their life both the good and the bad for a reason. Lord, help me to trust you!
Prayer
Holy Spirit, help me
remember what will benefit my spiritual growth. Help me let go of memories that
get in the way of that growth. Help me use my own memories as I consider how my
written words can help others move forward.
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